Friday, September 6, 2013

Back from a two year sabbatical ...

Dear SlackerMom Blog, 

I'm so sorry ... It's been almost two years (!) since my last post.  It's not that I had nothing to say during that time.  In fact, a lot of interesting (and challenging) stuff has been happening here in the Slacker household.  But I just couldn't bring myself to talk publicly about a lot of it back then.  First of all, much of it involved my kids (primarily their relationship with their father) and since this blog isn't really anonymous I didn't want them to feel that I was betraying a confidence of sorts.  After about a year of therapy, custody hearings and negotiations and many difficult but ultimately beneficial changes, their privacy became much less of an issue. But by then I had gotten out of the habit of writing. And couldn't seem to get myself back on track. (That silly internal editor got really strong during that time ...)

Lately I've been struggling with life in general.  Things are just ... hard. Like slogging through molasses. So, in an effort to make things better, I've been thinking back to the times in my life when I was happiest, when I felt like I could conquer the world.  When my mojo was in my back pocket and not lost somewhere in the cluttered mess of an apartment we now live in.  When I had a VOICE.  And when I felt I was making connections with people who understood. Who GOT IT.  I discovered (or, more accurately, remembered) that, during those times, I was writing.  Not just journaling.  Not just thinking about blog posts in my head and never actually typing them.  I was writing.  For you.  Whoever and wherever you are.

I want to say "I'm back!" and promise to never leave again. But I've learned not to make promises I might not be able to keep. So I'll just say that I'm trying to come back.  It might be slow going at first. I might only post once a week ...  or so.  But I can say that I'm not going to be hiding here on my couch anymore.  I'm going to really try to break out of this shell (chrysalis??) and let my voice out again.

So, hi! Good to be here again.  See you soon!

Jessica (aka SlackerMom)